Q: How many Warlocks does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one, but he needs two other people to click on it.
Yes, that's the kind of quality humor that you'll hear on this week's podcast (and the best joke is right at the end of the show). It's now available for listening on WoW Radio and also in iTunes. This past Saturday, Turpster joined me, Eliah Hecht, and Matthew Rossi for a little discussion about all things WoW in the past week. We got in some good discussion about speccing as a mage and lots of other reader emails, as well as:
And we chatted about the "brutal" ratings required on Brutal Gladiator items in season 4, and why they're there.
Plus of course instant feedback from the IRC channel, and the usual wackiness. If you liked the show or have a comment for us, feel free to send along a note to theshow@wowinsider.com, and we might even read it next week live on the virtual air. Thanks for listening, enjoy the show.
I really don't know why, but lately my friends and I are trying to get each other to do something stupid with content we've already mastered. Last night I found myself talking to a good friend of mine and the conversation went something like this:
Me: "I'm bored. What are you up to?" Her: "Aran." Me: "Remember to move during the flame wreath." Her: "And stand in the blizzard, right?" Me: "Yeah, so you're cold when the flame wreath hits you."
Now obviously this is the exact opposite of what you want to do. But the sheer absurdity of it makes me laugh. I mean, who among us hasn't seen flame wreath and thought, "Hey, it'd be really funny if I moved right now. Everyone would probably want to kill me... but still, it'd be a great Leroy moment."
I don't think I'm alone in this. I've heard other people joke about it as well. That makes me feel good; proves that while I'm a geek, at least I have some company. But what I really want to know is what you all think about this. So here's what I want. Leave a comment with a piece of absurd advice that only WoW folks would understand.
Then, next weekend I'll pick the top five or so and we can all vote for the most absurd piece of WoW advice. No prize for the winner or anything like that, just bragging rights.
So tell us all - what is some of the most absurd and funny advice you can think of?
After reading an announcement on the evening of March 31st, 2008 declaring that Nihilum, whom we recently interviewed, would be quitting the World of Warcraft forever, WoW Insider received quite a lot of mail surrounding the issue. Was it true, or simply another April Fools joke?
They even began disbanding their guild and joining others, and spoke of a plan to reappear together, perhaps in other games. There was an outpouring of love and concern from the community at large, and unlike the reaction to other jokes on April 1st, everyone was at least weary (ahem) wary that this one was not a joke.
Nihilum cited several reasons for their departure, including dissatisfaction with Blizzard's designs and methods, and an overall trend towards casual play while depleting much of the rewards, incentive and challenge for hardcore guilds, including changes made in patch 2.4.
At 12:01 a.m. on April 2nd, 2008, Nihilum confirmed that they were indeed yanking our chains, and even made a cheerful April Fools video. To quote, "Sorry for the scare everyone!" with a keen happy face at the end. We love you Nihilum!
Apparently Warlocks are not the only evil class in World of Warcraft.Today on the official forums, Mages aired their dirty laundry.Gompers of Archimonde began a thread that quickly filled to capacity with some of the tricks, cheats, and jokes Mages employ for amusement and profit.Some of the highlights include*:
Shlippmack of Earthen Ring, "I pyro the lvl 1 critters to boost damage."
Tiinsi of Bloodhoof, "On wipes I ice block and let everyone else who's fleeing pull the mobs further away so I have time to invis."
Amarius of Alleria, "I sheep horde who are fighting warlocks or hunters just to give them a heal and hopefully the help they need to kill said warlock or hunter."
Reoko of Sargeras, "I confess most of my deaths are caused by me hitting the windows button** when I'm trying to press alt 2 for ice block. /facepalm"
Haruka of Shadow Council, "I once carried around multiple stacks of Scrolls of Intellect rank 1 that I would use on people in the raid who complained about not getting an int buff."
Walugiee of Zul'jin, "I sometimes break my own sheeps and blame hunter multi-shots just so the raid leader yells at them."
The thread has some real gems in it. If I ever level my Mage, I may steal some of their ideas.Do you have anything you'd like to share with the group?
* Quotes are copied directly, I take no ownership of spelling and grammatical mistakes. ** This is why there are holes where the Windows keys were on my keyboard.They were pried off about my second day of playing WoW.
It was a madhouse this week on the podcast-- not only did we have Marcie Knox and Turpster on with me, but we also had our first guests ever, Johnny and Rob from Unforgotten Realms. Things were crazy, but we did get to talk about:
Patch 2.4, and our predictions for when it will hit the live realms
The most exciting parts of the patch notes (can you believe what they did to Old Blanchy's feed pouch?)
Johnny and Rob were able to set the record straight on their roleplaying guild on Sentinels (and I stand corrected-- they are absolutely not "anti-RP")
And if you are a raider, you'll love this week's show-- both Rob and Marcie let loose on exactly what they think about the high-end game
With five people on, we had some technical issues early on-- we had a crash, but Duncor was able to clear it up pretty well, so you may not even notice if you're listening (the show is available right now over on WoW Radio and in iTunes). But it was a great time-- Johnny and Rob are very funny. And if you like them here, go listen to their Legendary Heroes podcast as well.
But don't go too far-- the WoW Insider Show will be back next week as usual-- we're live on WoW Radio every Saturday at 3:30pm EST. Enjoy the show.
Time once again to spotlight for you all the great work our weekly columnists have been doing. Every week our writers work hard to churn out terrific weekly columns for you, and here they are all from the past one in one big post.
Encrypted Text: Enchanting your gear, part 3 Speaking of enchanting, did anyone else see Enchanted yet? That was an amazing movie. Amy Adams won me over with Junebug, but she was terrific in that, too.
Totem Talk: Sentry totem I just read it, and yes, the column really is about the Sentry Totem. Stop laughing.
The other day I was invited via the LFG queue to join in on a heroic Mechanar run. The other four players were all in the same guild and seemed to be good friends, based upon the way they were joking around while we all made our way to the instance. Not long after we entered the dungeon, I received private messages from three of the other group members telling me that they were going to play a practical joke on the tank. As soon as he attacked the first creature, the rest of us were going to run out of the instance, leaving him alone to die. I wasn't really sure what to make of the idea, but when they all ran out, I followed, not wanting to die myself. The guy seemed to take it well and laughed it off with some good natured teasing, but I've seen similar situations where the outcome wasn't as pleasant.
For instance, several months ago, when my guild was trying to enlist new members to raid the larger dungeons, we were in an alliance with another guild for a short period. A lot of the people in my guild like to joke around and one of them decided to play a prank on the hunters in the raid while we were learning how to take down Gruul. After the tanks died on one of our attempts, this player decided it would be funny to run to the area near the doorway where the hunters were feigning death, hoping to avoid repair bills. Of course, he pulled Gruul right on top of the hunters, turning their fake deaths into real ones. Most of them laughed it off, but one guy in particular became really upset and made a big commotion in raid chat. It took him awhile to calm down, but the group eventually pulled it together and went on to kill Gruul.
Ever had an experience like this? Does this sort of thing annoy you or do you think it has a place in WoW?
A couple of sight gags have popped up on the forums over the past few days, and all of them are pretty darn funny.
First off, Mankrik (the character, not the NPC) recently raised a ticket with the GM about an Environmental problem. No, not glitching graphics or missing shaders-- he was worried about tuna overfishing, specifically in the Barrens. A GM even answered him, though he said it's nothing to worry about. Conspiracy? Click the picture above to see the whole, hilarious thing (and thanks to Zeph for sending this one along to us).
And after the jump, a couple of different players used WoW as a canvas to paint their favorite new game, Bioshock. It's my favorite shooter/RPG/Objectivist commentary on the 360-- at least until Halo 3 comes out. Click the link below to see some Big Daddies and Little Sisters, WoW-style.
Ohword was just hanging out in Undercity the other day when he saw the conversation above roll through his chat window, and was suitably alarmed at whatever was happening here. GMs gone crazy?
At first, I thought the same thing Timbal says-- that the player above the GM impersonator was just doing the trick where you add a bunch of spaces after whatever you type, and then write "[2. Trade] <GM>[Mike]: Hi" yourself (the chat window pushes everything after the spaces to the next line, making it look as though it's a legitimate chat message). Old trick, not really funny if overused (or if used as in the pic above), but it has its place.
But then I got confused-- Ohword says he could click the name, and the search actually came up with "0 players total," which shouldn't work, if it's just typed out. Also, his addon timestamps everything, and clearly the GM's line is timestamped, which I'd imagine it wouldn't be if someone was just joking around.
MVP Faizaniel suggests that it's just a player who was accidentally given a GM tag, but does that happen? I'm sure it's not a big deal-- even if this player did get a GM tag, he didn't actually have the power to ban anyone, so no harm done. But a strange occurrence just the same.
Well, I think this collection of jokes on the official forums is absolutely hilarious -- combining my interests in both World of Warcraft and pirates -- but quite a few posters seem to feel the thread I'm about to point you to is quite groan-worthy. So if you don't feel like you can take yet another pirate pun, you may want to stop reading now. But for those of you who enjoy this sort of pure goofiness, have I got the forum thread for you. Poster Grinbomb gets us started with this joke:
Q: What did the pirate spec his mage? A: Arrrrcane.
And the madness continues from there: Q: What's a pirate's favorite lore character? A: Arrrrthas.
True Bloodsail Buccaneers will be amused. The rest of you should go on with your lives elsewhere. (And for those of you wanting to show your allegiances, there's always this fine shirt from J!NX.)
I really wanted to share this with you guys, but I couldn't think of a good place to put it. So instead, we'll turn it into a Breakfast Topic, and you guys can share some of your favorite WoW jokes.
HA! A while back I posted another warlock joke that still makes me laugh (I guess everyone wants to pick on warlocks), but if you've got any other WoW jokes (or jokes that have been adapted to fit the WoW setting), let us hear them, the cornier the better.
Ok, one more:
Q: What do Undead Tauren say?
A: Boo.
HA! Ok, one more: Q: How many CMs does it take to change a lightbulb?
Another April, another round of announcements from Blizzard. It's like Christmas, only more entertaining. Let's see what we have in our stocking, shall we?
First off, we finally have a way to hide ourselves from the Armory, in the form of the epic Tinfoil Hat. Not only does it prevent the Armory from indexing your data, it also hides you from in-game inspection, keeps you out of /who, and features an on use effect preventing mind control. You might have to slum it a bit to gather the 99 tin bars, but the joy of farming the tears of trolls will surely make it up to you. It's also required to gain access to the WoW forums, much like the Drakefire Amulet for Onyxia's Lair.
Secondly, we have a first look at Blizzard's next game! Set in the Warcraft universe we all know and love, Warcraft: Heroes of Azeroth lets us see the epic struggle in a whole new way. This prequel to WoW lets us command buildings and units from an all-new top-down perspective, taking control of four races (night elves, orcs, humans, and undead). It takes PvP and PvE to a greater scale -- we'll get to command whole armies at once! And tying into WoW's mechanics are powerful heroes, who gain experience and items to progress in potency; these include WoW greats like Thrall and Jaina Proudmore. All in all, should be a fun new look at this great story and setting.
Finally, we have a new attunement chart, this time for the Black Temple. It seems to take you through every instance in Outland a few times, as well as the Molten Core, the world dragons, BWL, and Onyxia's Lair. I for one am glad that this doesn't follow the pattern of attunements to places like the Eye, which are simply too easy to get into. Can you say free epics? In all honesty, I would have expected Deadmines to be on this attunement path somewhere, but perhaps it'll be patched into it later. Finally, after turning in a few Badges of Justice (500) and Marks of Honor (100) and fending off an Illidari invasion for a moderate six hours, the Black Temple awaits. I reckon I'll be attuned within 24 hours of the patch; how about you guys?
Reader Sylythn dropped this in our comment box, and we thank him for it: Jahan from Firetree has written a guide on the forums called "How to Pick Up Women, WoW Style." For males out there (or females, I assume, with just a few modifications) that can control aggro in any 5-man instance, but can't get a date, this is the guide for you.
Unfortunately the guide itself is too long for me to reprint here (sorry, those of you at work, you'll just have to come back and visit us this weekend), but it provides some general tips for making sure the "loot drops." Jahan has set up a strategy where, when pulling women in groups of 2 or more, the offtank is able to take aggro on the trash mob, leaving the main tank to engage the primary target. A rogue may come for larger groups, and his strategy is to, if possible, pull the secondary boss off, vanish away in his separate car, and collect his own loot drop. If you know what we mean.
And after the bar instance has been run, Jahan has another guide: How to Date, WoW Style. It covers such topics as buffs necessary for the dating encounter (I can personally recommend the Just Paid and Old Spice buffs), and what to do to get through the Restaurant Phase, the Movie Phase, and the all-important last 20% (you'll want to pour on DPS, but watch that aggro).
Both guides are great stuff. Can't wait to see his next guide on Heroic Mode dating, which I'm guessing involves a special ring just to get attuned.
Mindsuckr over on livejournal is looking for a good WoW license plate (seven chars, two spaces). Our ideas: OMG U NUB, HK FARMR, INC MINE, /FOLLOW (can you do slashes?), BRB BIO, and KEK KEK.
Finally, seen in a sig on the forums: "I love you, you love me, unless you're flagged PVP."
And people, don't forget to get those Admiral's Hats out of the bank: Tomorrow's Talk Like a Pirate Day. You're welcome for the reminder. Or should we say remindARRRRRRR?
"Just beyond the Undercity a great Necropolis landed. Drawn by curiosity, the Lady Sylvanas herself went to see what it was. From within emerged a warlock.
With a booming voice he challenged the entire army of the Undercity. Intrigued, the Lady Sylvanis sent for her army and instructed them to meet with her in front of the Necropolis. Thinking that a mere 100 men could silence this warlock, she sent them in. As they disappeared from view Lady Sylvanas heard fighting erupt. Minutes passed and none of her soldiers emerged. The warlock walked out grinning. 'Surely you can do better!'
Slightly annoyed, Lady Sylvanas sent in 200 men. Again, as they disappeared from view, she heard the sounds of combat. Again, no soldier emerged. The warlock came into view obviously amused. 'I'm very disappointed.'
Furious over losing 300 men for nothing, Lady Sylvanas sent in her entire army, thinking this time the entire Necropolis would be razed to the ground. She listened to the fighting and when it finally ceased, one soldier emerged, obviously near the brink of death. As he staggered back to his Lady, he gasped 'It was a trap... there were two warlocks!'"
Q: How many Warlocks does it take to change a lightbulb?
I really don't know why, but lately my friends and I are trying to get each other to do something stupid with content we've already mastered. Last night I found myself talking to a good friend of mine and the conversation went something like this:
Apparently 
It was a madhouse this week on the podcast-- not only did we have Marcie Knox and Turpster on with me, but we also had our first guests ever, Johnny and Rob from 
Time once again to spotlight for you all the great work our weekly columnists have been doing. Every week our writers work hard to churn out terrific weekly columns for you, and here they are all from the past one in one big post.
I really wanted to share this with you guys, but I couldn't think of a good place to put it. So instead, we'll turn it into a Breakfast Topic, and you guys can share some of your favorite WoW jokes.
Reader Sylythn dropped this in our comment box, and we thank him for it: Jahan from Firetree has written a guide on the forums called 
Here's a few things I wanted to share that didn't quite call for a full post of their own.
From 
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