And Belfaire doesn't care.

Reader Kyver tipped us off to a gem of a post on the Customer Service Forums today, titled "I'm a WoW Widow" (moderately NSFW, PG-13 rating). The story goes like this: A girl, Missmegan, lost her boyfriend to the Burning Crusades [sic]. They used to play together horde side, but after buying the expansion he turned to the alliance and is dedicated to his guild mates. All is lost, as he's no longer interested in his girlfriend's "assets" and rambles like a two-year old.

Of course this makes our forum posting protagonist upset, and she needs her boyfriend back. Now obviously this is a joke. At least I hope it is. And Katie (my girlfriend), if you're reading this I promise I'll never let it get this bad. I mean, I only play for 5 hours a day, not 13 as the boyfriend in the story does. And I make money with all this, so it's okay, right? Sweetie? Darling? Honey... D'oh....

Tagging the first response to this thread is Belfaire The Mighty, with the simple response "Dear WoW Widow, It's actually Burning Crusade. Yours, Belfaire." This had myself and the other writers here laughing. We had to share it.

So dear readers, I ask you, are you a WoW widow?

Every Monday Scott Andrews contributes Officers' Quarters, a column about the ins and outs of guild leadership.

This is going to be a tricky week for me, since my girlfriend reads this column. Like most subjects, I'm not claiming to have all the answers about this, but in this case I'm really clueless sometimes. I'm wondering how other guild leaders and officers out there handle it.

So this week, I'm the one providing the question!

Dear Readers:

How do you deal with having a significant other in the guild -- especially when he or she isn't an officer?

Thanks!

Scott

Each week, Robin Torres contributes Azeroth Interrupted, a column about balancing real life with WoW.

This week I'm answering an email from Guilty Gamer:

Dear Robin,

My problem's not too much school or work, but a girlfriend who'd rather have me in bed (we live together) than leveling in the wee hours. As it is, I sneak WoW into my life. If she's got a one-hour class, I've got time for five quests. But my play is ruined by the fact that I have to hide. I'm not looking at porn for crying out loud. I just want to enjoy my game.

I want to sit down for a whole evening and sink in to an instance, but it seems impossible considering we always plan so much. Her hobbies/interests can be accomplished in an hour or less while mine eat a whole evening. She's not geeky like me. I tried to get her to into WoW and it made no sense to her (fair enough). I usually get an evening a week but even then she's mad or distant if I'm not talking and paying attention to her while I play.

At points, I wish I could play so much more or just give up the game entirely. I really enjoy WoW and love my girlfriend. I don't know how to find harmony between them. I'm always either deprived of my time-consuming hobbies or guilty for enjoying them.

Sincerely,

Guilty Gamer

The Australian media is at it again (why is Australia such a hotbed of this stuff?), with another report on how playing online games can horribly ruin your life. This time, they profile a guy named Mark Nichols, who apparently "played out his days in a virtual world... while his real life crumbled to pieces." Not surprisingly, he blames the game.

The best part is when he mentions WoW itself: "Then I heard about a game called World of Warcraft. That's when it all went south." Before he played WoW, he was apparently logging four hours a day in Half-Life, which is enough to make any sensible person reconsider what they're doing. But he was compelled (no choice involved, obviously) to install and play the game anyway. You can imagine the rest-- he loses his job (because, playing on a US server, he'd rather play during the day), loses his girlfriend, gains all kinds of weight, and generally becomes a mess. All because of the game. The last part is great, too: "Games have eaten away at my 20s and I was in stasis for a while," he says. "Hopefully it's not too late." As if the rest of his life will be completely ruined just because he chose to install a game.

I can't say much more about this than I've already said, but I will give the mic to the very insightful Rushster over at WorldofWar:

"I do hate the term 'real life' when used in the context of 'gaming ruining real life.' WoW is real life. It's a real-life entertainment activity just like knitting, watching TV, going to the movies, gardening etc. I do wish people would stop saying their 'real-life' was falling apart. I'm sure if you watch too much TV or go to the movies for 12 hours a day it can't be good for you either or your relationships."

Well said. If you're playing WoW for 12 hours a day-- stop now. Just uninstall the game and walk away. Leave the rest of us to enjoy the game responsibly, and have a good time without the media buying the stupid line that it's the game's fault for ruining this guy's life.

Still, if multiboxing is your thing, then these pictures, sent to us by the great Xzin himself (whom we interviewed a little while ago), are right up your alley. Not only are there some c-c-c-crazy monitor setups (I especially like the guy who tilted his EQ monitors around himself, like a little MMORPG womb), but you also get some neat screenshots, like the all-Shammy run of SL that Xzin did above-- bonus points on the tanking Earth Elementals, but I'll bet cash that zero Shaman gear dropped.

Bobbo also sent us this Dual-Boxing.com forum thread, which gets just insane-- this guy runs 23 characters, and his girlfriend runs 23 sitting next to him for a total of 47 characters together (his picture actually shows 57 different WoW boxes, so that's at least $1000 right there, even without all the hardware). I can't imagine the amount of money and time going into something like that, but Blizzard nods vague approval to the whole thing, so more power to them, I guess. It seems like a completely different game than the one we know and love, but twinking is the same type of thing (a game of resources), and lots of us do that and have no problem with it. So multibox away, you crazy character-controlling overlords.

Each week, Robin Torres contributes Azeroth Interrupted, a column about balancing real life with WoW.

WoW players do have girlfriends (and boyfriends and spouses), contrary to the taunts heard in The Trade Channel and Barrens Chat. Many Players even play WoW with their Significant Others, but often, players have trouble getting their significant others to join them in their hobby/addiction. In general, the problem lies with the girlfriend or wife not being a gamer. Following are some tips for getting your lady to play WoW.

First of all, have you tried the sincere, straightforward approach? Just throwing out "Well, if you played WoW with me, you'd understand." here and there is not the same thing. Neither are hints or endless stories of how much fun you're having. Try saying something like "I would have more fun playing WoW if you joined me and I think it would be a great way for us to spend more time together. It would really mean a lot to me. Would you please give it a try?" If this doesn't work, it is time to analyze and tackle her objections.

"It's just a stupid game." Take a deep breath -- don't let it hurt you. She probably isn't a gamer and sees computers as tools, not sources of fun. Easing her into games is a very good approach to counteract a lack of interest. Be patient, this could take several weeks. Start her off with a simple and addictive solitaire game like Bejeweled. Once she catches the bug, and this is a double edged sword, move her onto something more complicated that has a wide female fanbase, like Sims 2. This will introduce her to the fun of character creation and a minimum amount of roleplaying. Once she grows tired of this, she may be ready to try WoW, but if she still resists, introduce her to your favorite single player roleplaying game. It can be an old one. The quality of the graphics is not as important as the gameplay (which is arguably always the case), and your passion for the game as well as your interest in how she is progressing will be flattering and encouraging.

The image says it all (click for a full size version), here. A digg regarding a WoW-themed cake (hey, we've seen some of those recently!) made by a player's girlfriend resulted in the response seen above. What do those 1816 commenters have in common? None of them think you can date and WoW.

[Via Joystiq]