A couple lifetimes ago, I wrote a pretty comprehensive guide to bad rogues for Encrypted Text. I considered doing the same for paladins, but as I didn't have a 70 Pally yet, I decided to hold off for a while. Well -- good news, everyone! I'm 70, and it's time to offend every race, spec and playstyle with the Field Guide to Bad Paladins. Please direct all Crusader Strikes to management.

The Guy Who Doesn't Understand Hybrids

• Identification: A long time ago, someone told this Pally that paladins can heal, tank and DPS. Unfortunately, they never bothered to tell him that you can't do all three at the same time. Paladins of this category are notorious for trying to do way too many things at the same time. He will pop a bubble and heal himself while tanking. He will run in and try to get a raid mob away from a clothie while in healing gear. He will tank with a two-hander.
• Mating Call: "Don't worry, guys, I can heal myself! Wait, it keeps getting interrupted ..."
• Habitat: Low-level instances.
• Management: This guy's heart is in the right place -- his brain is just elsewhere. This problem can usually be corrected with some education at low levels. If he keeps trying to tank and DPS at the same time, suggest he roll a Death Knight. "They can tank with two swords!"