I actually considered asking my boss if this post could be the first in a new series called "Stupid WoW Criminals," but honestly, I'd prefer to think that this guy is one of kind.

So, here's the deal: A young Warlock named Kiranth of the Aman'thul server (Who has since deleted his post, but you find it quoted a couple posts down from the top in the thread) came to the customer service forums, and in this thread here, claimed that he somehow lost his epic flying skill after buying it on a Monday and playing until Tuesday morning maintenance. He claimed that he'd been trying to contact the GMs for months in order to get the skill back, and that he was incredibly frustrated and about to cancel his 3 accounts if he didn't get the skill.

Luckily, the ever vigilant GMs are always willing to please, and Auryk soon chimed in with an answer to his problem.

I'll summarize what he said after the break, but you really should read it for yourself. It's amazing.

The first thing Auryk noted was that on the 16th, a Saturday, Kiranth put in his first GM ticket, claiming that he had bought the flight skill the previous Sunday and claimed to have lost it at server maintenance on Monday. He was offline when the ticket was answered, and the GM sent him an email saying they were unable to verify any gold loss. He resubmitted his ticket later that day, now having claimed to have bought it on Monday and lost it at server maintenance on Tuesday (perhaps realizing the mistake of his first ticket). Once again, he was offline when the ticket was answered, and once again, he was told in an email that they could not find any record of any missing gold.

Now for his third ticket, on the 17th, he claims to have borrowed most of the 5k gold, which was obviously why they couldn't find the gold. Once again, he was offline when the ticket was answered, and an email was sent asking him for clarification as to the timeframe of all of this (which is understandable: first it was on Sunday, then it was on Monday, and either way he somehow felt the need to wait almost a week before petitioning... I know I'd be confused too!).

Finally, 12 hours after ticket 3, Kiranth submitted a fourth ticket. This time, he was actually online for the answer, and the GM told him straight up that as they couldn't find any record of him buying the skill, so they'd be unable to reimburse him. About half a month later, on the 6th of March, Kiranth once again tried to contact a GM about getting epic flight, and the GM once again told him they'd be unable to reimburse him.

Now, apparently, over a month after this last ticket, and around a month and a half after the initial ticket, on approximately the 10th of April, he felt it needful to come directly to the Customer Service Forum and bring up the issue again. So, ever willing to help, Auryk dug deeper.

First of all, it seems on the 11th of February, he had zoned into Outland with about 149 gold to his name. After picking up some money from the selling of some Primal Waters, he made the purchase of a Red Riding Nether Ray, which, while an epic mount, does someone no good without the skill to ride it. At this point, he logged out with only about 14 gold to his name. At no time within a few days of this purchase, said Auryk, was there any indication that he had anywhere near the 5000 gold needed to purchase epic flight.

For the final nail in the coffin, Auryk dug into the chat logs. It turns out that, on the 1st of March (about half a month after he'd sent in most of the petitions and 5 days before he sent in his last petition), Kiranth apparently said in guild chat that he "[couldn't] wait for the faster mount" because he "just [needed] the skill [because he] already [had] Red Riding Nether Ray."

In conclusion, said Auryk, trying to defraud a GM is an actionable account offense, Kiranth should watch himself, issue closed.

So, there's two major things you can take away from this post, I'd say.

First, attempting to trick Blizzard into giving you free gold is not going to go very well, especially if you try to do it on a public forum, and especially if you are going to spread it out over the course of multiple months. They have access to more logs that you realize, and they won't hesitate to use them, nor will many petitions spread over many months make them lose focus or forget what's going on.

Secondly, they have access to more logs than you realize, and they won't hesitate to use them. They were able to dig into the actual guild chat logs of Kiranth's guild in order to find incriminating evidence against him. If you ever thought what you said in guild chat or a private channel was completely, well, private, you might want to think twice. Mind you, I generally trust that Blizzard doesn't have a crack team of GMs poring over every single word spoken inside the game, and that they only specifically read most stuff if there's a complaint about it, but the possibility of being "overheard" is still there. The game's Terms of Use specifically give Blizzard the right to monitor and record all chat without your specific knowledge or consent, and since agreeing to the Terms of Use is required for playing the game, you've already technically agreed to it.

So, my children, take these lessons away from tale of poor Kiranth, and may you get your epic flight training the legitimate way, and not become the laughing stock of the Customer Service Forums. Because, seriously, it's not like it's hard to earn gold anymore.