In an exclusive interview with HKO lead developer Hey'wod ya' Saiev'mie, it was revealed that because of the extreme ease and uselessness Paladins provide in World of Warcraft, they have been removed from WoW and transfered to HK Online. Those players that have Paladin will no doubt be happy since they'll finally be able to play a useful role in an online game. All accounts with Paladin mains will receive a free copy of HKO, and 3 days of play time.In response to the outcry of support in the Paladin forums, Blizard CM Csyrd said "We are glad Paladins are finally happy. Our goal has always been to make them stop crying." Newly appointed HKO CM Ahol Isk'y said "Hopefully the Paladin community will appreciate their new opportunity to tank mice and the occasional dog. Of course this is nothing like Illidan, but it's a start, right?"
I had a chance to sit down with the HKO lead developer and talk to him about how the Paladins will transfer across. Here are the major bullet points:
- Paladins will no longer be wearing plate gear, only cloth.
- At 1% health the Paladin will automatically bubble, hearth, and return to his home.
- Paladins will no longer be able to heal others, only themselves.
- When tanking mice, the Paladin will look like a kitten, and purr when they do over 10 damage. The proc rate is about once every ten minutes.
- When fighting dogs, the Paladin will rename himself Kyraa and constantly whine that the game is too hard.
- Instead of gold, Paladins will use copper. They cannot have more than 99 copper on them at once.
- Paladins that die, despite having a bubble, will be faced with Permadeath.
- Only the Protection tree will remain. The others will be removed. They will be replaced with a "Whine Less" and "Whine More" tree.
- If the Paladin specs deep into the "Whine More" tree, they will find themselves with an aura that instantly and magically removes the ability for the Paladin to post to official and unofficial HKO forums.
- The Paladins ability to communicate with other players using in-game chat has been removed by default, and is only available if the Paladin specs deep into the "Whine Less" tree.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
4-01-2008 @ 10:46AM
Herm said...
I play this in the background while tanking.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpA2tMrQ4RU
Reply
4-01-2008 @ 10:49AM
Arya said...
"Two paws up"
4-01-2008 @ 10:52AM
Badger said...
I've been waiting all morning for someone to post that. :-P
4-01-2008 @ 10:53AM
andywoho said...
Heh.
As a holy/prot level 70 paladin who farms his own gold without hurting other players, and without ever once begged for gold or borrowed, who doesn't grief other players, who is happy to heal in instance if called upon, who is aware of the limitations of his class without ever whining about them, who would rather die while dueling or pvp rather than bubble/hearth, who is open to respeccing to learn about his class and to be more useful to guild mates, let me say, I know it's April Fool's Day, but eff you, buddy.
You're just using April Fool's and the Hello Kitty gag as a piss-poor excuse to rip my class. And that's pure fail.
Reply
4-01-2008 @ 10:59AM
dan said...
I pretty much feel the same way. There is a line between being funny and being a jackass, and Mr. Holisky crossed it.
4-01-2008 @ 11:01AM
grab said...
still whining
4-01-2008 @ 11:17AM
Pucelle said...
Thanks for providing a perfect example of what you're ranting against. Sometimes irony doesn't get any better than this!
4-01-2008 @ 11:23AM
dan said...
Calling someone a jackass when they are, in fact, being a jackass, is not whining.
4-01-2008 @ 11:27AM
Adam Holisky said...
@Dan
When anyone flames us personally, like calling us bad names that go against what HKO is about, we have been given permission to give you a gift.
We can give you a pink fluffy bunny!
A pink fluffy bunny to you, sir!
Enjoy your bunny!
- Adam
4-01-2008 @ 11:32AM
dan said...
@Adam
Lookie there! You actually got me to laugh. How do I pick up my bunny?
4-01-2008 @ 1:43PM
arcady0 said...
Ok...
Come on guys, the author probably mains as a Paladin. Get over yourselves and have fun with the self-deprecating humor.
I have a Tankadin alt coming up on 50, and I thought it was pretty funny. I didn't see it as connected to anything real in the game, just humor. You could take the same article and replace paladin with shaman or warrior or mage or hunter or druid or rogue or warlock, etc... and get the same basic joke.
4-01-2008 @ 10:54AM
Angus said...
This wins:
http://www.starcraft2.com/features/terran/taurenmarine.xml
Yes, the name explains it all.
Reply
4-01-2008 @ 11:02AM
Healbot said...
I hear they are doing the same thing with Warriors too... but the trees will be changed to "Taking insecure jabs at Paladins" and "Taking insecure jabs at Druids"...
yeah I know it's an April Fool's Article, but the humor in it is extremely lame, and the incessant bashing of Paladins by you and the other Warrior mains on this site is getting old...
Reply
4-01-2008 @ 11:07AM
Kaphik said...
The responses by paladins to this joke article just show how not-so-off base it actually it.
Take a deep breath. Ok, let it out.
Relax.
It's a joke. Not serious, just some light hearted humor, ok?
Ok, take another deep breath. Relax. Want a cookie? A hug?
Get over it paladins.
4-01-2008 @ 11:11AM
Healbot said...
Couldn't be less angry... but this schtick is tired and lame... just calling a spade a spade...
4-01-2008 @ 11:20AM
Pucelle said...
"I couldn't be less angry, so that's why I'm making a bitchy, whiny complaint about how this parody article isn't funny!"
Hahahahahaha.
By the way, I'm not a warrior - but I do think paladins are getting a taste of the same medicine that everyone else gets. The next time I hear "huntard", I'll smile and think fondly of all the paladins shrieking hysterically in these comments.
4-01-2008 @ 11:33AM
Healbot said...
shrieking hysterically? lolwut?
If someone on this blog wrote an article about "huntards" I'd find that to be pretty piss-poor writing as well...
4-01-2008 @ 11:10AM
aggregate said...
They already have pink shoulders..
Reply
4-01-2008 @ 11:18AM
crapton said...
all these "kitty" articles are just lol
wow insider has become such a victim of its own success
Reply
4-01-2008 @ 11:47AM
Unfor said...
Haha, No reason to be upset with the author..lol. Its just a holiday joke and a very well laid out joke at that. I like it. Now, the fact that it was written by an author who is grossly insecure over the fact that paladins are getting called upon to tank more than his pathetic, can not tank more than two mobs at a time without blowing all CD's and still dieing, warrior....well that only make it even more funny to me.
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