All the World's a Stage is a weekly column by David Bowers, investigating the explorative performance art of roleplaying in the World of Warcraft.Roleplaying the opposite sex happens. It is alluring to some, and repulsive to others -- a lot of people do it, while a lot of other people very openly proclaim (as if they know these things) that anyone who does this weird, manipulative, deceitful, and so on.
People also tend to come up with various excuses for why they play a character of the opposite sex, as if they need to justify themselves according to their own gender's traditional expectations. Some men say, "if I'm going to have to stare at a characters butt for hours while I play, I'd rather it be a hot and sexy butt," while some women say, "I get all kinds of unwanted attention if I play a girl, and the only way I can get away from it is to play a boy." All that may be true in some cases, but it's hardly the whole story behind opposite-gender roleplaying.
First of all, let me just say it here and now: you have every right to create whatever character you want, particularly in an actual roleplaying environment, and particularly if you intend to be faithful to the character you're creating.
If there's anything immoral about playing a character of the opposite sex, it would only be in using it to mislead others that you actually are something you are not -- but that's a separate issue. If someone assumes the gender of your character is your real life gender, that does not make you a liar -- it merely reveals that person's taste for jumping to conclusions. It's fruitless to rearrange any aspect of your life according to the assumptions and expectations of random people all around you, so why should other people's assumptions be an issue in roleplaying? Besides, it should be obvious to anyone starting up the game for the first time that anyone can make any sort of character they like, and therefore anyone you meet in the game could possibly be either male or female. There's no way to know for sure, and there's no reason it should really matter, unless you want to start a real life romantic relationship with them -- and that's a wholly different can o' beans.
Now that I've said all that, let's look at one other big and legitimate reason that people rarely think of for roleplaying a character of the opposite sex: there's actually something to learn from it.
Men and women tend not to understand each other very well. Some may brag that they've got the opposite sex all figured out and boiled down to a few key attributes, but chances are they're way off. We go about our lives as one gender or the other, always interpreting the actions of the other sex through our own differing experiences. Normally, there's no way to understand the gender-specific experiences of the opposite sex except vicariously, by listening to someone tell you about them. But with roleplaying, a door is opened where you are able to put on a virtual costume and play the part of someone you could never believably portray on a physical stage.
Of course in ages past, men used to commonly play the roles of women in theater, since acting was viewed as a man's work. The first viewers of Romeo and Juliet probably managed to temporarily forget that those were actually two guys up there professing their love for each other. In WoW, however, nobody knows what gender you really are, and in roleplaying it doesn't matter anyway. You can tell or you can keep it secret -- either way, your character is a way of interacting with others spontaneously while thinking from an entirely different point of view from your own.
Don't misunderstand me here. Roleplaying a character of the opposite sex is certainly not going to teach you everything you need to know about them. But it can open a certain doorway to a few experiences you might not otherwise have ever in your life, and provide some small but important insights for people who are interested in learning.
But in order for this to work, there are several important principles to follow. First, it's important to have a certain amount of distance between your character and yourself, as well as a certain amount of intimacy. He or she is someone you can relate to, care about, and enjoy portraying -- but whoever they are, they're not you. Your character is an extension of your inner self perhaps, but it's important to give them the freedom to think and act in ways that you wouldn't do in your own life. You already do this to a certain extent when you roleplay any sort of fantasy character -- roleplaying the opposite sex with any sincerity just brings it to a very subtle level, where you might rethink some of the things about them that you had taken for granted.
Second, it's important to put yourself in your character's shoes and constantly adjust your character's actions and ideas based on the experiences he or she is having. So, for example, suppose you are a man playing a female character, and someone uses the "/whistle" emote at you. You could just ignore this if you want to, of course, or else you can think about your character and how she would respond. Is this "unwanted attention" that would bother her? Does she view his whistling as a threatening desire for her, an advance from a man she has no interest in? Or does she view it as a statement of appreciation for her beauty, a gift with no strings attached? Perhaps she feels something else entirely? There's no one way to respond to such a situation, and a lack of familiarity with it may leave you feeling confused as to what your character would actually do. As your character experiences things, in a sense, so are you -- and as these experiences grow, your responses to them can get more and more sincere and natural. You won't ever get to the depth of understanding a woman has about womanly things, but you might get a better sense for them using WoW as a tool to put yourself in their place sometimes.
For women playing men, the situation is a bit different. You might find yourself accepted by other males as a natural member of their group rather than having to get past the perception that you are somehow other than they are. Chances are that no one will ask you "are you a guy in real life?" so no matter how you react to situations, people will assume you're a man unless you tell them otherwise. You could take advantage of this to shock their expectations by being every bit as feminine and girly as you are in real life (or even more so!) and see how they respond -- or else you could think about the things they're saying to you, what they mean to someone on the inside, and find yourself seeing a lot more about the ways men relate to each other. I know for my part, I would love to know a woman who roleplays a male character and actually desires to understand men better this way, rather than just assuming men are all really simple and there's nothing more to understand. I imagine this woman could have a lot of insights about the way men think, and it would be neat to see how she thought of men differently after her experiences.
Roleplaying the opposite sex can be tricky sometimes too, though -- there's no doubt about that. How do you approach roleplaying a romantic storyline? When is it important to reveal your real gender, and when is it best to just let it be a mystery? There are so many intricate details and approaches to these questions -- as well as boundaries that ought not to be crossed -- that it's really too much to cover in a single article. For now, just consider the possibility that maybe there are some insights and practical uses for this expression of the art of WoW.
Have you ever learned something from sincerely trying to roleplay a character of the opposite sex? Do you shy away from it for some reason (other than "that's just gross")? What are the major principles you think one should keep in mind?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
10-01-2007 @ 11:12PM
Wildhammer said...
Playing the opposite sex can help you better understand them, definitely. I write random high-fantasy pieces and shorts a lot, and I personally like to use female protagonists just as much as I like to use male ones. It's pretty evened out. Over all, I think it's helped me understand women much more..... Although that may have something to do with me having a slight imbalance of estrogen in my brain chemistry....
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10-01-2007 @ 11:16PM
Fletch said...
I learned everything there is to know about the opposite sex from the classic movie What Women Want.
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10-01-2007 @ 11:27PM
David Bowers said...
@2, Yeah Fletch, I loved that movie too! Sometime I'd like to see the reverse -- about a woman who has a similar (yet opposite) experience with men. But anyways, _What Women Want_ taught me not to listen to what men said women want -- instead listen to the women themselves. People are constantly trying to tell each other what they want all the time, but we so rarely listen, being so focused on what we ourselves want that we can't really hear them.
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10-02-2007 @ 1:05AM
Delta said...
I dunno about all this, I simply play female characters because video game character's genders are independant of my own, that is to say that I don't try to attach my real life persona to my character, I rather play the character as themselves and chat as me. I don't attempt to trick players into thinking I'm female, and any time the quest is asked if I am a girl I reply that I am not. I've gotten mixed reactions but that's what your going to get in a society that has defined itself through gender roles and what both genders are expected to do by the previous generations. Roleplaying games and roleplaying in general apart from drama/theater has upset this balance now because people don't view roleplaying games along the same lines as acting, they think those people REALLY want to be like someone else and that is now thought of as a mental problem. Quite sad really that imagination and creativity often gets stifled by parents fearing their children will not turn out a certain way acceptable by all of society.
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10-02-2007 @ 1:43AM
Shlayer said...
I think that I started playing female toons (im a guy) in WoW think because it was a hold-over from my Tomb Raiding days.
There was just something so awesome in TR about playing this bad-ass hot chick...I felt more protective of the character, got really into the story line and was simply more invested in the game. I wanted her to win.
When i picked up GTA however, and I was just some random generic dude, i felt underwhelmed and wholly uninterested...however I can connect with male characters too -- just think of the endless supply of awesome heroes from the FF series.
So in summary, for me it boils down to investment. I am more invested in a female toon (male instincts?) than I would be if I was playing a male toon.
/2cents
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10-02-2007 @ 1:43AM
onetrueping said...
I'm going to start off by congratulating you guys on an excellent, thoughtful article, and excellent, thoughtful replies.
As a roleplayer in more than just WoW, I've played both gender roles myself. Other than cross-gender insight, it's interesting how your reactions change subtly between genders. For example, if a female character approached your male character, the typical response would range from flattery to finding a dark corner in Goldshire. But if that same woman approached a female character, the response can vary a fair amount, from being uncomfortable or hostile to tentative acceptance.
Something a lot of the regular WoW crowd doesn't seem to understand is just how powerful the roleplaying experience can be, in any medium. You don't just type up words, wear weak armor, and walk when you could run. You assume an intimate role, which can have a profound effect, or offer insight both into your character and yourself.
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1-09-2008 @ 8:19AM
Calybos said...
The main advantage I find to playing some female characters is that you're not challenged to duels every five seconds when you hit town. Why this is, is open to speculation.
10-02-2007 @ 1:43AM
Lygia said...
and what will voice chat do to gender play? I will still play and love WoW, but I fear that serious roleplay will now be too difficult. I will miss that. Cheers for the article!
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10-02-2007 @ 2:27AM
Merric said...
I have characters of both genders and my experience has taught me that people are just nicer to females. I don't tell anyone I'm a woman, I just play a character that's female.
Now, I have 2 females that I play these days, and 2 males. The females were also chosen on the point of animations. Male Draenei just look wierd, and male NE's don't make good hunters (imo), though I love them as rogues, and I do play one.
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10-02-2007 @ 3:19AM
Sirg said...
I think previously played RP or adventure games have a great influence on what char do you choose to play. I played many RPGs and adventure games, including The Longest Journey and Syberia series, which featured female characters. At the begining, being a guy, I wasn't very interested by these chars, but the storyline got them closer to me and, like someone else said, I wanted them to win in the end.
So in WoW, I recreated a similar char, even without realising it 1st.
RL gender is less important... if someone asks me why I play a female char if I'm a guy I reply, why do you play a dwarf/elf/orc or lol.. are you undead in your RL? :))
I think people that have played many RPGs will always try to create a fun and unique char, with original names, rather than picking a NE hunter called Leggollaass or somethink like that.
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10-02-2007 @ 3:38AM
Skarlette said...
I've raided with a man playing a female character, a female playing a male character, and people whose mains match their RL gender but have many alts that are the opposite. It's a bit confusing sometimes over Vent to hear a male voice saying something and connect that to the female on the screen in the skimpy plate armor, or hear a girly voice and see a buff NE druid, but aside from that it doesn't bother me.
I'm female IRL and most of my characters in WoW are female, too, but I have at least one RP alt whose is male and it's just another facet to the roleplaying experience to me. The character is a lot of things I am not--a bit cruel, thousands of years old, an elf, very bitter/antisocial, and male. I have to keep all those factors into account when I'm playing in-character, after all.
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10-02-2007 @ 3:57AM
Michel said...
I can confirm, often, people are nicer to female characters.
it was obvious in the beginning of wow (many newcomers to mmo ? ) but even now, there are many people nicer with my female characters than male alts.
I'm totally convinced the look and cute-side of a characters make people nicer
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10-02-2007 @ 6:51AM
RanWitScissorz said...
I play a female character also and have to agree with the sentiment that you tend to get better treatment from fellow characters, even though I don't try to curb the way I talk (which, shows that I'm male). However, I've had a few bad experiences being a female character and that usually involved 10 year olds sending me messages along the lines of, "Your hot, wanna chat?"
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10-02-2007 @ 7:24AM
kidsmoke said...
Well having leveled both a male and female characters to 70 I will tell you this... everyone is nicer to you if you have a female character. Much easier to get grp quests, instances, etc...
It seems people are just much much more likely to help someone who might even be a girl... even if its a slight chance.
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10-02-2007 @ 8:01AM
Chaan said...
I've always played female toons and never experienced random acts of giving due to my gender. Granted WOW is my first MMORPG so I may have limited experience in that respect.
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10-02-2007 @ 8:17AM
Beefmonger said...
Here's one advocate of "pretty bums"
My 19 blood elf pally has yet to don a single piece of visible equipment.
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10-02-2007 @ 9:15AM
mdm-adph said...
Anywhere ever play a female NE here just to get free gold from people?
Yeah... me either.
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10-02-2007 @ 10:25AM
Sylythn said...
I don't do this in WoW, simply because RP is difficult for me in this format - but after several years of RP in an online IRC chat game, I was wanting a challenge. "Been there, done that" was setting in, and I decided to roleplay a female character in order to find that challenge - and did I ever. It's an eye-opener to truly take a stab at this.
In a WoW-context, I do have a female alt, and I have been on the receiving end of very immature, insensitive and sexist comments from male players...and that too is an eye-opener. No matter how much you sympathize with girls who get this kind of treatment, when you get it yourself it's like a slap in the face.
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10-02-2007 @ 12:30PM
Ken Lydell said...
I'm a guy with 10 female characters. I do not role play and have no interest in ever doing so. My first female character was the rogue in the original Diablo. The next was the Amazon in Diablo II followed by a female warrior in Neverwinter Nights. My group composition in the various Baldur's Gate games was half female and half male. I also tried, for a time, male characters in those games and found that I simply didn't much care if they died. I couldn't identify with them or bond with them. On the other hand, female characters arouse very strong protective instincts in me. Threats seem more threatening, death more disappointing and victories all the sweeter. I think Shlayer and I are on the same page in this regard.
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10-02-2007 @ 12:37PM
Kadamon said...
I've been playing both sides since 1999. Writing as a female and writing as a male isn't all that hard to me, and it's a nice break to choose between the two on occasion instead of being stuck with a male because I am one.
I found writing as a female avatar/character/whatev was no different from writing as a male varient, one just gets a different kind of attention. I've noticed that I usually get more attention and messages as a female then I do as a guy...and I've been doing this for almost 10 years online now.
To end things off, I just have to say...good piece David, it's refreshing to read something like that.
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